I won't let you close enough to hurt me.

I'm strong. Stronger than I was then which means I can walk out just like I did before, only this time I have to walk out better. I can't leave my heart tied to it. I have take every piece of luggage with me, because if I leave anything behind. God knows, I'll go back and get it the second the door is left open even, if it's just cracked. I'll go back. I know the second I walk through the door it won't get shut in my face but it will feel like it did, but  I go back regardless. I push the door closed behind me and immediately regret my decision, as I feel suffocated by the emotions that were left behind. Everything I worked so hard to repair will be left broken around the place just like it was the first day I walked out, broken to pieces, running frantically to clean the place up. This time I went back, but it was different. I had previously cleaned up the mess, I had left and said I was done. It's not my mess anymore, and although I left things behind I shouldn't have, I learned my lesson quickly. I went back, shut the door behind me, ran up the stairs right past your deceitfully charming eyes and your "knew you would be back" open arms. I grabbed every last thing was mine out of your room, anything I had ever handed over to you and told myself I would never get back. I grabbed my love that was scattered all over your floor as it was being continually walked on. I grabbed the one piece of my heart I gave to you off the shelf in your back closet, only I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see all the other pieces of everyone else's heart laying beside it. I grabbed my naivety, I'm here for you conversation, and open arms off the coat hook gathering dust in the corner and packed in it a bag because it was mine, and you didn't deserve it. I then took one last glance, took a deep breathe and knew that I needed to do this for myself. I ran down the stairs, breathing heavy. heart racing. I pulled my bag behind, it was heavy baggage, but I was strong enough to take it with me this time. You reached your hand out and begged me to stay and I backed up a little in fear if you got to close you could hurt me. I grabbed the door knob, locked your eyes with mine one last time, and left you there empty as you had left me. I shut the door, quietly, because I knew you were gonna sit there in silence and disbelief waiting for me to run back through the door and beg to stay. I got in my car and had never felt better. I had everything that was mine and it was as if I had lost nothing. I put my keys in the ignition and never looked back.