Typical Thursday?

Not at all.

I have spent the last 3 days buried beneath pages of notes about things I have no interest in or ever will, Government or "Political Science". I have been trying to pull of a good grade in this class, but so far it is seeming to be impossible and I'll be lucky for a C in the class (which is damaging to the self-esteem). Anyways, to the point I knew if I could get past this test I could breathe. So here comes Thursday morning, and I wake up, sip my coffee, and review for the test. I walk into the class feeling confident and ready to be done with studying. I glance at the test and hear a lot of whispering, I think this is definitely not what I studied. I then recognize all the questions and realize I have failed this before and I can tell you I am not about to again. I then hear the whole class speaking loudly and everyone is realizing this is the wrong test. The professor announces they printed the wrong one and the test will be moved to tuesday. Everyone is thrilled…but me. I had plans next monday to go home after my math test and enjoy my boy's birthday with him, but instead it seems I will be spending that lovely day studying my heart out all over again. This is not the end though. I then proceed to my next class, where I find out that I have 2 english classes left in the semester. TWO!! One of which is review and the other which is the final!! So instead of 8 english classes left, I have two. He also bumped up the "gimme" final to the week before finals so that we just be finished and not have to stress. So this new is thrilling.
Today was a long day and filled with interesting unexpected news. Boyfriends day was even longer, so I am ready for a relaxing weekend home with him and my family. Weekends don't come quick enough anymore. Thankful for friends who buy me coffee so I function properly, and other friends who take me to get frozen yogurt on bad days.

Life is good, even on the most frustrating of days.

Lots of Loveeee.

Delicate

I don't have much time to blog today, but I did have an writing assignment due today and I thought I might share. We had to choose and emotion and describe it vividly with abstract words. I chose the subject of heartbreak.

Enjoy.

"I picked up the phone. Your breaths were brisk but petite, I could barely comprehend the words slipping out of your mouth. But I knew. I knew what had happened. I whispered delicately, the words “I’m on my way”, you only responded with an elongated exhale. I heard a beep. beep. beep. The line went dead. Within 10 minutes later, I appeared at your door where I had stood and waited so many times waiting for you to finish getting ready. This time it was unlocked. I walked right up the carpeted stairs without saying a word and there you were. Placed down on the glazed hard-wood floor. Surrounded by the puddle of salty tears. You couldn’t utter a word. You didn’t need to. Each tear slid down your rosy red cheeks and smacked into the wood floor as you blubbered through each breath. And with every inhale and exhale, the hot breath created a fog against the wood floor where your face was pressed against. I sat. And sat. And sat. I sat there all night. We didn’t speak. I was just there. Sometimes thats all you need. Your emotions had enclosed you. Damien Rice lyrics filled the room. “So why’d you fill my sorrows with the words you’ve borrowed from the only place you’ve known. Why’d ya sing Hallelujah If it means nothing to you. Why’d you sing with me at all?”. You fell asleep on the floor that night. I wanted to move you but you were dead weight. I could not sleep. I wanted to be there for you when you woke up. I had to be there. But I slipped into a deep sleep. I couldn’t fight it. My eyes closed strenuously. Emotions are exhausting, even more so when you have to be strong for someone else. The sun’s rays shined into the peaks of the blinds the next morning. I had passed out. You were still there. This day was different though. You were laying on a pillow. Eyes wide open. Staring at the pictures mounted upon the wall by nails. You knew you had to take each one down. Each and every one of them. You had accepted reality. You wanted life to stop. You knew it wouldn’t ever slow down. I  knew it was a gonna be a process. I had been there before. I climbed off of the bed and planted myself right next you. I placed my hand in yours and compacted the two of our hands. Together. I looked into your weary eyes that reflected all the memories passing through your mind. You would be replaying every little detail in your head for a few days. But you had to know something you didn’t want to hear. And so I told you. I told you something every girl blocks from their brain in these situations. “It’s going to be ok”. You looked at me like someone who was standing at the bottom of a giant hole in the ground, reaching up but knew she would never get out. So I said it one more time. Just so you knew. “It’s going to be ok”.You looked defeated. You placed your head back down on the pillow, gripped my hand, and shut your eyes tightly. This is what heart break does to you. It makes you second guess yourself. It brings you to a place where reality doesn’t exist. A place where a room full of old pictures still appear on the wall, words that should never be said unless meant remembered, and sleepless nights.It makes you stronger than ever before. It builds you into a new person. But it’s a battle to get there. It’s hard to remember who you are without a person’s name there anymore, when it was attached for so long. And then Damien Rice reminded us of something. “It’s not that were scared, It’s just that it’s delicate”. That was exactly what that moment was, delicate. ""

Loveeeeee. 

p.s. (please don't take credit or post anywhere without credit considering I wrote this myself.)

♥

Some days when you find yourself thinking too much about life, it is easy to want to fast forward time and say things you don't really mean like I want to give up, and If only I could skip college and get to things I really want to without all the hard work. Unfortunately, I am then reminded why I am here. School is hard, especially when you get out of class at 12 but spend at least 3 or 4 hours in the library doing work or studying, but it's worth it. For some people maybe working 8-5 everyday is tiring, and they want to be able to live life luxuriously without having to make the money to do so, but its worth it. I am so excited for the future that sometimes I forget about the now. The now should be enjoyed because we are blessed to still be here with each day we are alive. I get so worked out about what is to come only to find myself anxious and lost for what I am doing, but God says to be anxious of nothing. I am thankful for beautiful weather, and the privilege of being educated, now if I could just find more focus. 

Hope everyones monday are lovely! 

Loveeee. 

Confession-Session Sunday.

I want sunday to be over

and

Monday to be here. (Never thought I would say that)


and

and as soon as as Monday Morning makes it's presence known



I would like Friday to arrive.


Thanks and Loveeee.

100% All Girl.

There is something so spectacular somedays about being a girl. Things we girls often take for granted. Like   spending an evening with a plate of chocolate and our faces buried beneath the pages of a fashion magazine. The ability to do nothing for the night but do our hair for the fun of just getting to feel pretty. Playing with a puppy for less than 5 minutes and becoming instantaneously attached. That bonding time to some girls means browsing through closes and having another girl there to help you choose what to buy and what not to buy. Being able to buy a feminine something only to be slept in, but yet it still makes you feel so dainty and delicately pretty. All I gotta say is I am a complete girl, 100%. I am completely ok with that on days like today when I get to indulge in that fact. Life through a girly lens is unrealistic but necessary to enjoy every now and then, because it's pretty (and being a girl I get to use that as an excuse to shop and for other many things in life).

Here are some pictures of the girliness! 

Pretty Anthropologie box, I refuse to throw away. 

Bloodhound puppy wrinkly faces. 

Plates full of Chocolate eaten with no regret. 

Feminine details such as lace. 

The vintage touch this picture has.

Loveeee.