Mondays

Some days start off slow, good, and full of bliss but then they slowly spiral into rushed errands, indecision and pure chaos. By the time 5 'o'clock rolls around, I am ready to crawl into bed, pull the cover over my head, and say see ya tomorrow, but instead life goes on.

I started running the other day with my boy and the first day it was really a struggle. I didn't necessarily need to start running but wanted to be a runner, so I had to start with day one as everyone else does too. I got outside and complained, breathed too quickly, and said the words "I can't" repeatedly too myself. It was not fun. The next day I told myself I could do it, and I did. I ran. Then today I got outside and I closed my eyes and listened as boyfriend talked about his life and anxieties, and my feet pounded against the pavement. The slight breeze swayed my ponytail to and fro, and even when I was tired I breathed in through my nose, and out through my mouth, and I didn't let my feet stop. We got to this point which boyfriend refers to as "bringing it home. It's the spot where you can see the finish, but you still have quite the way to go. So when you get to the point, you run. You run as fast as your legs can go, which by this point it seems like your legs are melting and you really can't go much faster, but you can. So you stride it out, with each step you pretend your legs can depart from the ground, and you lung a little bit further. Boyfriend is really good at this, but as he stands at the finish line, all I can think about is getting to stop too, but I still have the quite distance. I keep my legs moving and with each inch I get closer, and closer, and closer until I am there. I made it I tell myself. I did it and tomorrow I will do better.

Life is like this sometimes. You are so close to finishing, but feel so far from the solution but when you get there it's good. Pure goodness. You feel accomplished, but exhausted. Strong, but weak, like you could keep going, but all you can do is lay there. These past few days have seemed to be spirals of life circling one after the other, dreaming of the day it ends, but I know God has a plan. Tonight I had dinner with a friends family outside on the deck. I was quiet but so relaxed and sometimes thats all you really need at the end of a long run.



Cheers to mondays.

Loveee.