I carry your heart, i carry it in my heart.

Mom- devoted, unconditional love, committed, and there for you.

I went home from college this week twice actually ha. One for a dentist appointment in which ended up being a horrible day. My mother had plans and delayed them quite a bit by running around town for me to get medicine, last minute dorm stuff, and made lunch for me. She is so wonderful. I went home again this week and me and my mom once again went to lunch, she bought me two pair of shoes, and waited around 3 hours to see if my phone could get fixed. I could not ask for a better mom. Being away, even though it hasn't been for long, makes me so grateful for my mother. I do not take the time to appreciate her and not being home has taught me too. She is so great, i wish you all knew her so you could just know what a great mother she is. She is devoted to me and there is just a love a mother has for her children that i cant comprehend. How they love you despite your flaws and teenage attitudes. How they love you no matter what you may do to defy their authority. I am so undeserving of her i think sometimes, However i thank God for placing someone like her in my life to continually love me. What a big influence in my life she has in my life and will forever hold.

She's only happy in the sun.

Things i'm loving today.



The fall weather sneaking in through the hot texas heat bringing a cold breeze and all.
The smell of this wonderful scentsy in my dorm room along with brewing coffee.
The pictures of my family and friends surrounding me.
My boyfriends sweet novel like texts to wake up to in the morning.
Everyone at UNT has such a good crazy sense of style, i love it! everyone is so unique.
The smell of my grapefruit face wash, i just feel so soft and clean whenever im done washing it.
The fact denton has literally 20 different little independent coffee shops with live music.
My pens that come in different color ink including: pink, purple, blue, orange, green, and red!
My down comforter underneath my sheets making it 10 times more comfy.


God is so wonderful, and he shared with me John 14:27 today "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

As i start school today, i pray his peace is placed in me and that i do not become anxious. I feel so far from God in this place that needs so much light. I feel as though i am not strong enough to be a big enough light, However i trust God that he has a plan for everything and will use me in mighty ways, weak or strong because he himself is a mighty God.

♥

One last week of summer.
This is my song for this week, Free fallin- john mayer.
I am going to glide through this week as though i am free fallin right through the clouds, enjoying it without a care in the world.





"She's a good girl, Loves her mamma, Loves jesus and america too,
She's a good girl, crazy about elvis
loves horses and her boyfriend too...
I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’"

♥loveee.


pictures taken from weheartit.com

Be still, and know that i am God.
-Psalm 46:10



I need this as a constant reminder in my life. I need to sit sometimes like right now whether for 5 minutes or an hour just to be reminded how big God really is. I slip into the flesh so easily. However, God always has a way of pulling me right back in. He is so much bigger than any of those things i listed in my wish list yesterday. He has the power to put his hand over everything and give me complete peace, if only i allow him to have the reigns. So today, i pray for his control because Lord knows i need it. I pray that in everything today that i kow that he is God.


♥ loveee

Life wish list.

Do you ever see those little wish list stickers that come out in magazines (usually during christmastime) and you stick them on the things you "like, love it, or want want!" Well im here to say i would like to see all the areas of my life blurring by floating in bubbles in front of me. I would like to take those little stickers and smack them on the bubbles. Ones that say things like "dislike, go away, love, want, need to have, and make time fly". As i woke up this morning and began to read my blogs for the morning, i scrolled over my usual, www.taza-and-husband.blogspot.com. I noticed she listed all the things she wished for the moment right then and it inspired me to write this post. There are so many things in life going on right now and im not sure i can keep up, so here is my life wish list.

*I wish i could just sit down and enjoy the fact my sister is getting married on friday, tomorrow, but i have to work 12-6 today and rush home to change clothes and look presentable for the rehearsal dinner at 7.
*I wish my boyfriend could be here enjoying the rest of summer with me, yet i also wish he has an amazing time playing football and time would fly by so i could just go see his cute face again. it's only been 3 days and im missing him terribly in the spare time i have between the craziness.
*I wish i could get a haircut but there is no time
*I wish i could sit down and put all my dorm stuff in one place instead of 2 different closets, behind and under beds. And then i could make a list of the things i still need.
*I wish saturday would come sooner so i can get a new phone.
*I wish my best friend was coming to college with me, however she is a grade younger.
* I wish i had declared a major. but i am so confused.
and something i need to do is talk to God. My life is such a blur and i know no one can fix it but him.
He has this way of seeming like everything is falling into place with perfect peace surrounding it.

♥loveee.

Last looks, Heavy Breaths, & 98 cents.

Today was the day. Hello tears. I tend to push reality out of the way, i try to live in the moment and absorb everything around me at once. This by the way leads to too much thinking, zoning out, and a dear in the headlights look on my face. After proceeding through each one of those steps, you hit the feel good, "i love life" mood. However, don't be deceived, there is a crash included. It may take days, months, who knows however many tears your body feels the ability to hold back. It does come though, and once it is built up, it will not back down (trust me, i've tried). So tonight happened to be the night where all my thoughts came out in the form of tears. If you know me, red dots all around the eyes and green green eyes do occur. It's kind of a package deal.

Anyways, i came to say that, tonight i lost it. Completely lost it.

There could be a few factors for the cause of this. Im sure you are interested, not really but oh well i'm sharing.

1) I looked people in the eyes, i mean i really looked at them. I don't know if you have ever stared at someone in complete silence. No no, not awkward but serene. You just stare. Well i did, and included the passing thoughts "I am not going to see this look for such a long time" as well as "Im really gonna miss those big blue eyes". This maybe, just might have been the tipping point for the day.

2)Heavy Breaths. Have you listened to people breathe? i know weird. Just listen sometime though, you don't have to be a creep. You can just be sitting next to them and listening to the way someone breathes is actually special. You would be surprised. They do not have to know you may be listening, its just special. Especially when you and that person are breathing the same pattern. So interesting.

3) Last but not least 98 cents. Lately i have been taking all my time to appreciate the little things. You notice or hear things you do not usually recall. Today i observed my boyfriend checking out at Walgreens. The total was $2.92. Therefore the change was, 98 cents. ha. He was pretty frustrated he had to put a whole 98 cents in his pocket. Then it spilt all over, out of his pocket, and into the floor. This only added to the frustration. It was so cute. He is kind of ridiculous when it comes to cleanliness and i am the opposite. So i am grateful that i have someone who is neat and will keep me in line. It is not an option to be messy with him. I moved his shoes ( not even thinking about it) and took my flip flops off. Later i found my shoes and his shoes placed directly against the wall side by side. He also scoffed and said "you moved my shoes". Does it really matter? to him, yes. Which makes it important to me as well. Really now though, who knew an 18 year old boy wanted to be so clean. All i can say is i observed him today and all his little quirks just shined right through. It was actually adorable to just smile and see all of them.

So all these might have been included to push the thoughts into tears. Although, it was quiet for a long time after and i just received the best hug of all time. There was nothing wrong to cause the tears. Which is hard to explain to a boy. All is good. Crying i think can be good for you. It truly was a precious moment.