Weekend.

Friday
  Friday I didn't have class, so I spent the day baby-sitting a little bit, then catching upon movies I have yet to see. Then that evening my friends band played a lovely little show in the backyard of a coffeehouse. It was so charming with christmas lights draped all around the fence, definitely a good last summer event to attend before my time is consumed completely with school.

Saturday
  Not to much say about saturday except that I spent the day babysitting a cute 2 year old who liked to color, eat, and watch yo gabba gabby & elmo (mo-mo). I finally got her to sit down and watch princess and the frog which was much better than the other choices I had earlier in the night.

Today, I am exhausted and cannot believe tomorrow is monday already.

This is the week when school "actually" starts for me, so tomorrow will probably be a pretty long day, but this weekend was busy itself so I think I am going to spend today really getting some serious relaxing in, but know that I am already looking forward to a 4 day weekend (Yay for having holidays off!)

Madre loving.

Today was good.
No friday classes are good.
Spending my day with a 2 year old who calls elmo, "mo-mo" was good.
Going to backyard concert at a coffe house covered in twinkling christmas lights was good.

Today was better.

I love not having friday classes, makes me feel like the week goes faster and school ends quicker, and the weekend is here by 3:20 on thursday afternoon which in general gives the weekend this whole vacation feel to it because its 3 1/2 full days instead of 2 full days, one of which is spent worrying about monday.

On another note,

Momma called today though. a lot. She is so wonderful. I love that she calls 3 or 4 times a day. I could tell she was missing her girls this weekend not home. I go home a lot, I think she needs it. She doesn't like being the only girl at home, she has lived and breathe pink, curls, irrational emotions, and perfume her whole life. She can't be the only girl at home for very long by herself. I almost wanted to drive home for the night just to see her, but I have to be back here tomorrow so it would be too late. I could tell she needed to getaway, to have girl time the second she called this morning. I could tell. The conversation went a little like this..
Mom:"hows life going today?"
Me: It's ok, I have to babysit in an hour, so I'm just getting ready
Mom:" Oh well, I'm going to get a flat changed on the car. again"
Me: Again?
Mom: "yeah, but I don't feel like sitting there all day so dad is going to take me to get the other car, and I'm gonna get my hair done, I just really want a haircut, color, everything, you know just need something to make me feel better today"

She's so cute. Love my momma. I think I take after her in that way.
When I have a bad day I want to be with her, because she knows exactly how to make what seems like a girls worst day ever, the best day ever. She will buy you an article of clothing, or take you to your favorite place to eat, or best of all get your nails done with you.
She rocks, always knows what I need when I need it. Always.
Not to mention when I call her madre, she calls me mija. Love it.

♥

Goodbye Summer.

Well goodbye to the 3 month break I took from all commitments in life, even if was really unadult (is that a word?) of me to do so. However, the summer weather that is piercing to the skin and causes me sweat ounces the second that I walk out the door, so much so that cute clothes seem completely pointless to me. I can't look cute if I am sweating like a boy at the gym. Sorry for the no blogging, like I said, I took a break from pretty much everything. School starts today though and yesterday I felt excited and relieved, but today the anxiety and homesickness has kicked back in. I never knew I would be so much of a homebody, but there is something about waking up, getting a cup of coffee, and sitting in the chaos of a kitchen at home. Its calming and familiar versus today which was lonely and gloomy. The lights were all off and the only noise I heard was the sound of dorm rooms slamming shut and water running as everyone awoke out of their summer haze. I'm forcing myself to grow up this year though, I am getting myself a little babysitting job to fulfill time when I'm not doing school. It's hard though. It's hard to awake and not be home. I have to get readjusted to my mamma not being in the kitchen to say good morning, and my boyfriend to be able to hang out whenever I want. Not that he could this summer, because he is busy growing up too with an 8 to 5 job. I prayed alot this morning though, because I don't need to miss home, it's so close. I don't need to be anxious, it's school, and I want to be excited to learn what I'm gonna be doing the rest of my life. This morning I am slowly feeling better as I sip my coffee and know that life is waiting outside my window and it's beautiful, and I know that God is big and he is in control.

Lost.

I don't know where I've been or what I've been doing. Maybe I got lost, but I don't exactly know when it happened. Maybe it was on vacation, among the ocean waves. It was beautiful, with each passing wave, my body arose and shifted further and further. At one point, I felt a fear I had gotten too far from the shore, but it felt free. I needed to feel that distance. Maybe it was at home, on a day just like any other summer day where I was driving. Not driving anywhere particular, I just wanted out of the house. I wanted to drive. I wanted to feel wind in my hair, and slip through my fingertips as I screamed the words of the music to the world. No one could hear me though, so it didn't matter what I sounded like. I needed to be able to scream and not worry what anyone was thinking. Maybe it was in a moment, those five second moments where you want something so bad but you don't know how to reach it. I wanted to not care about anything in the world, but how, how do you get there? I couldn't, I do care. It was nice though, to care for anything for a simple five seconds. Maybe it was that one morning where I woke up and felt motivated, driven, persistent. I wish I felt that every morning. I got out of bed and I tied my running shoes, jumped on the treadmill, and I ran. I ran with my eyes closed. It felt like I could anything. I needed that feeling to pulse through me.

I don't know really I got lost, but I'm definitely growing up.